"Itinerant" - 9/13/2024
Her life is almost never lonely
To this she can attest with every fibre of her itinerant being
She may be the most resolute person you know, and if not then it consoles her
Imagining somewhere out there, plate-spinning, is a kind of doppelganger
Her life is rich with friends and neighbors, a loving family,
And a town she calls home transcending any sense of belonging
She ever had before happening upon it. Growing up she was
The only Jew in her class, the only bisexual she thought existed.
The only girl who left school early in pursuit of balletic perfection
At the expense of small talk, flirtations, shared hobbies, inebriation
Each train ride into the City was a kind of odyssey – the grownups around her
Oblivious that she was a child, by herself, and trusted to behave and be careful
---
Every day now she interacts with dozens of people
Some may be texting, others whatsapping; occasionally a voicemail or voice note
Breaks the natural barrier that has come to define her sense of truth:
She is a type of warrior and the only person who will defend her is her
A survivor of a tumor the "size of a plum" according to the head of oncology
At Mt. Sinai (who also warned her never to drink soy chai lattés again)
A survivor of assault in college like so many female friends - too numerous to count
A survivor of relationship abuse and keeper of too many secrets, too much shame
She eventually had to bust wide open, revealing gratitude's triumphant exhilaration
Revering and reviving a quintessential glittering resilience bonding her
Like mercury to a cavity, deep and dark and underneath
All her optimism and all her activism, is a hopeful yearning to be someone entirely free
So, you see: her life is almost never lonely
She wishes she could confess to craving to be entwined with someone vs. a hive
She may spin the unlikeliest tranquility you know, and at night it consoles her
Imagining somewhere out there, dream-shimmering, is a kind of soulmate
