"Red" - 12/10/19

There is probably nothing
I can add to the topic of getting an MRI
That hasn't been mentioned before
By the millions of people who've
Laid down on the same flat surface
Counting the same deafening clanks
Holding their breath with the determination
Of Olympic synchronized swimmers

There is certainly nothing illuminating
I can share around the idea that stress
Only creates more stress the way the very
Mysteries these machines hunt for divide and
Conquer within the dark precarious
Red is my power color and always has been
My hair, now grown-in down to my brows
Was red for a decade my nails today are too

There is nothing I can possibly gain from
Checking Facebook mere moments before
I am to undress, put my elements of style
Into an empty locker, attempting to focus on 
Positives like how lovely my nurse's smile is
Or that if I have to have anyone find another
Better vein it may as well be someone
With as kind a face as hers

I read about the singer from Roxette.
Sad news at every turn...if it wasn't her
It would have been someone or something else
Gunshots in Jersey City, a beloved actor accused
Today's news is as threatening to our collective soul
As results from my own test are important to me
I am one small but mighty ward in a prison from which
We all will only break out of together

Climate changes everything though
I look again at the woman's face and think
How difficult a job this must be
I appreciate her smalltalk, her thoughtful questions
She tells me she just saw "Waitress" and loved it
I recognize she is unquestionably my target audience
I will most likely never see her again just like
If I am lucky I will probably never see the last

One who helped me through that nearly identical day
6 months ago I went to a different facility
That one was closer to me this morning
I complained to myself about the pending
Greater shlep in realizing this I make myself laugh
I am able to be silly there is abundant humor
In frailty and even in the fact that after my test
I ran into friends who invited me to a movie

I'm dying to see but not tonight...Tonight I need
To check some deadlnes off my list: design a
Postcard for my next gig, weigh in on album art
So much work to be done its too bad I already
Binge-watched Mrs. Maisel it would be such a
Comfort to have that still ahead of me to enjoy
And therein for me lies today's joy not only do I
Have the ability now to strive, yearn, drive myself

Forward, but I actually know how to lie still, breathe
I suppose today was a rough day in many ways 'cause
I chose to do it alone. I did not ask for help, I did
Not want to worry anyone because worry
Only creates more worry the way the very
Mysteries these machines hunt for divide and
Conquer within the dark precarious
Red is my power color and always has been