"Whether" - 9/26/13

whether or not my heart breaks
I will love you
whether or not I agree with you
I will love you
whether or not you decide to be free
I will love you
whether or not you decide freedom's without me
I will love you
whether or not you hold me close
I will love you
whether or not you hold me at all
I will love you
whether or not you own me
you altered me
whether or not you need me
you begged for me once
whether or not you are mine anymore
I've been yours

and will remember everything always

as you re-membered me, completely

"This Year" - 9/4/13

This year has been the hardest
For so many I adore, but not for me
A sister who's the sweetest person I know
Whose love for her daughter transcends any loyalty
I may ever feel and whose insight equals my inspiration
Tonight waits to know the answer to weeks of unfair questioning
I'm praying for you in a voice I've never heard as tears of unreason sting

Singing is futile when your soul is so helpless
Friends in poor health climb mountains I've only seen
On postcards in gift shops flower stems fighting to stay upright
My limbs are bittersweet reminders of everyone close to me bedridden
I own too much and want to burn most of it for fear of jinxing wishes that matter
Cravings I consciously have when I'm not busy buying or grasping hope's invisibility
I'm praying for you in a language I've never learned without nearly enough calm to breathe

If I could give just enough of my guilt's shadow
To shade you from this burning sun and just enough
Of my confusion's chaos to distract you from your own
If I could offer just enough of my myopia to help you unsee
The future's insincerity I would give up every whisper of ambition
For the chance to witness your body weightless and your mind light
Balloons dandelion fluff butterflies laughter kisses New Years at midnight

Be alright be alright be alright be alright be alright be alright be alright be alright