"Mercy" - 3/25/2007
even if I were not your lover
I would love you
because you work well
with others (something I struggle with,
to say the least)
I'd love you because
you have not been afraid
to follow your bliss
curséd though it
may still seem to you at times
because you
ache in a way more subtle
than I'm apt to melt down
suddenly overcome with
new landslides
I'd love you because
you're not afraid
of change,
not easily
phased
because you could
kill me in the most gentle
way possible, just by looking
straight at me, and sight
shows some mercy
I'd love you because you were
just what I needed
Astaire-on-the-ceiling
reeling me back to earth
I'd never had brunch before
with a paramour of course dinner
breakfast in bed lunches and
so forth but you felt like someone
I'd take home for the Holidays
before you even took me for
a fool and for that I will always
thank you
"Anyway" - 3/23/2007
so look -
I am in deep with you
(and I don't even know who you are)
it doesn't seem fair
this double-edged sword
my Scorpio blessing's
my weakness' core
I sit on the carpet
musing at collections
of things I have memorized
until they're invisible
what's second nature
what's useless used-to
what's chaos/order
I've come
to leave
as regularly as the seasons
swell around us
monsoons of waiting
I'm waiting for someone
to tell me they take me
just as I am but still...
they'd long to see me change
why is that too much to ask for?
why does submitting to all of this
wishing make me the culprit
I can barely look in the mirror
as dependent as I am
on your recognition
should I just break it?
bare-fisted, I could surely
what use are these hands
anyway, so deeply misunderstood
"Ensemble" - 3/19/07
be careful what you wish for
isn't that how the saying goes
there is a gap Adonai knows
between how we lie together
and what you will not say
and I wonder restlessly:
if I didn't pry, would you share your good news
if I didn't offer, would you educe these hues
my last true love was so long ago
I admit I've forgotten what depth dances like
still I try to allow my six senses to drown
desolate as most oceans appear to me now
tell me, my friend...
are you home tonight? dare I rap
on the the door of your personal fortress
or is it best I remain inside my own igloo
where at least it's safe and there's no bloodstain
to rival my ensemble (wistfully gone to waste)
"Kite" - 3/10/07
Yesterday revealed
my friend reattempting
to end this life
suffering so long
refusing to let me help
in any way nonetheless
Today was a truck
running over my insides
if that is possible
(surface intact)
what will tomorrow be like?
I pray for an understanding
beyond my fears
I lie down with demons
to see what death must
feel like it or not this is
real
and it
spills
---
Today I overslept
through two alarms
an apt analogy
for this mournful epoch
slow was I to respond
consumed with new
Love and future's work
now present is tangled
equally with lies
a kite I can't
follow even as it
flies
"Imperfect Hand" - 3/3/07
if I can't tell you
soon
I think I will
explode with waiting
waiting's such a productive thing
it makes you write
straightens your spine
helps you defray
the cost of submitting
full as you become
with the counting of each
white cloud passing
and each rising/setting
of the orange sun
nonetheless,
I crave you more
the more you make me
wait it's a good game - bliss!
this chance to be absolutely
certain that if those words
ever reach the surface
they'll be mutually spoken
affectionately received
by both of us at once
from one another or like
gold greedily pilfered
in case we should
weaken someday
and stoop to
steal them
back